I want to cry
but the tears wont come
over the past year Ive run dry
alone in this world
I want to scream
until my throat is soar
a monstrous roar
until I collapse
I want to go outside
and sit alone in the fields
isolation is my shield
no one around to judge
While I sit in my room, trapped
I often dream of running away
it doesnt matter where
just away
frustration so great I am numb to it
depression hidden away in a box long ago
hollow heart
the missing pieces in San Diego
Why am I here?
what's it for?
my own thoughts scare me
external life is a bore
Ive tried all escape routes
hope, distraction, and lying to myself
but every waking moment remains the same
Im still here
Everyday I wake up
the same room
the same prison
confined in this tomb
this place of nightmares
place of ruined dreams
not worthy to stay
yet forced to
Everyone around me so different
intimidating
back stabbing
I dont understand them
The path here was long and tough
It was supposed to pay off
I took the road that was rough
and it ended in the city of misery
hate surrounds me
excruciating pain
leaving is all I wish
pleading to break out
Im banging on the locked door
the one once open to me
I can see light from it on the floor
as I sit in my room of darkness
Theres nothing left to do but give up
and wait for that day that will never happen
to live in that place Ive known all my life
but never appreciated
Until then I will let myself die
I will crumble to nothing
I will live the lie
from Heaven to Hell
Someday to return