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Penguin Crossing
School Through My Eyes

I wrote this poem when I was particularly depressed at my old school. The "secret" is that the first letter in ever line in stanza 12 spell out "help."

I want to cry
but the tears wont come
over the past year Ive run dry
alone in this world

I want to scream
until my throat is soar
a monstrous roar
until I collapse

I want to go outside
and sit alone in the fields
isolation is my shield
no one around to judge

While I sit in my room, trapped
I often dream of running away
it doesnt matter where
just away

frustration so great I am numb to it
depression hidden away in a box long ago
hollow heart
the missing pieces in San Diego

Why am I here?
what's it for?
my own thoughts scare me
external life is a bore

Ive tried all escape routes
hope, distraction, and lying to myself
but every waking moment remains the same
Im still here

Everyday I wake up
the same room
the same prison
confined in this tomb

this place of nightmares
place of ruined dreams
not worthy to stay
yet forced to

Everyone around me so different
back stabbing
I dont understand them

The path here was long and tough
It was supposed to pay off
I took the road that was rough
and it ended in the city of misery

hate surrounds me
excruciating pain
leaving is all I wish
pleading to break out

Im banging on the locked door
the one once open to me
I can see light from it on the floor
as I sit in my room of darkness

Theres nothing left to do but give up
and wait for that day that will never happen
to live in that place Ive known all my life
but never appreciated

Until then I will let myself die
I will crumble to nothing
I will live the lie
from Heaven to Hell

Someday to return